The Normalised Arrogance of our Fathers

By Eleanor Jackson

Helen Garner’s “Postcards from Surfers” expertly displays the banal cruelty and self-perceived superiority of many fathers towards their wives and children.

 

Let’s start with a disclaimer. I am not suggesting that all fathers are arrogant, cruel or see themselves as possessing complete authority over their families, only that it is a common occurrence in literature due to the societal context in which it is produced.

 

Now for a small history lesson, and a bit of feminist theory to start your day!

 

The accepted structure of a family, in almost every culture around the world, including in Australia, is one that is led by a man, the father. This is essential to the patriarchy (which is estimated to have existed since 8000-3000 BC), because, to control society, you must control the family unit as it is the basis on which modern society is constructed. In doing so, mothers, daughters and to a lesser extent sons, are diminished in importance to promote male control. 

 

Style!

 

 

Garner is known for a self-deprecating, deeply personal and detail obsessed writing style which makes her fictional pieces seem autobiographical which is evident in her short stories and some longer form fiction. This allows the realest and most flawed aspects of the human psyche to be explored from the view of the protagonist, who in this text is not named making them more relatable to the reader. 

 

Substance!

 

In “Postcards from Surfers”, Garner explores the experiences of a daughter with a father who struggles to relinquish control of her and has never established an equality between himself and his wife. 

 

 

The now grown-up woman, who is unnamed, goes to visit her family on the coast, at Surfers Paradise, an Americanised segment of Queensland coastline, who’s capitalist luxuries, including huge apartment buildings, seem, to the protagonist, absurd so close to the ocean. Through writing postcards to an ex-lover, “Philip” the narrator reminisces on her father’s suffocating treatment of her as an adolescent and young woman, which is juxtaposed with the changed dynamic of her adult life in which her autonomy clashes with the remnants of his control. Through her astute observations of her family and their conversations on everyday activities, the protagonist displays the awkward power dynamics within both her parents' relationship and the family as a whole.

 

The protagonist’s interactions with her mother are on equal footing, despite the societally mandated power imbalance of parent and child. Their conversation over tampons happens in hushed tones, as if within the secrecy cone of womanhood, as though they are at a sleepover at which her father is not in attendance. Her mother divulges information and secrets to her, and when they go for a walk, they stand in a row, on equal footing. 

 

However, with her father there is a ‘control-controlled’ dynamic that is present under the surface of adult interactions which causes tension between the two, leading to a lack of intimacy. As she recounts her childhood to Philip in the postcards, she speaks of her father hitting her as a kid, of his reaction when discovering contraceptive pills, saying that she ‘ought to see a psychiatrist’ and blaming her mother for being “too soft” on her as a child. These experiences clearly impact their relationship in the present. When he tells her which luxury apartment building he would choose to live in, he picks the one she finds the most ugly and she is unable to say anything in response. He pre-empts her actions, asking 

“Going to help Mum with the dishes, are you, Miss?” 

while he reclines in the chair. 

 

These memories and experiences serve to assist the reader's understanding of the fractious relationship between the protagonist and her father, however they also do more than that. They demonstrate the way that the narrator perceives this relationship and treatment as normal. The casual wording of her recounts shows how little stress she places on these borderline abusive events in her mind, saying 

“it’s no worse than anyone else’s story”

. This further solidifies the perceived normality of paternal cruelty in the protagonist’s mind, and signals to the reader to harbour little concern for her.

 

His actions demonstrate his subscription to gender and family norms that Australian society prescribes, and his self-importance manifests itself within the relationship of her parents. Her mother is described as a “closet intellectual”, someone who is educated but underplays it significantly, while her father brags about his ability to do the crossword quickly or trick salespeople into lowering the prices of the ridiculous luxury apartments. This disparity is not between their actual intelligence but really between the obviousness of it. The person's willingness to publicise it. And who feels accepted in society for being smart, her father. 

As she writes to Philip, she tells him how her mother refuses to publicly counter her father’s convictions, only after he leaves the room does she correct his identification of an albatross. She is shown, in small, concealed, and personal ways, such as her notes in a book “bathos; reminiscent of Virgil; parody of Homer”to be intellectual. However, her mental brilliance is tarnished by the protagonist's observations of her conversations with Aunt Lorna, where they “murmur and murmur… never saying anything that requires an answer”. Through this diminishing of her mother’s intelligence, and women more broadly, the author shows the power structures and norms that have been created in her family by Australian society, upheld and validated by her father, whom she has idolised from childhood.

 

So, what can we, as readers, take away from this understanding of the text and what it says about society.

 

The normalisation throughout the text, of the father’s abuse and self-importance towards the members of his family and outwardly in society, is indicative of the way that men, within both society and more specifically the family as an institution, are allowed to, and often do, act. The text shows how the loss of control and authority over a child, can cause someone who is used to this power, to act arrogantly and abusively in retaliation. It allows us to understand the ways that female liberation can negatively affect men, and the women in their lives, if they are not brought along with the movement. Something that ought to be considered by all feminists if we wish to avoid a rift within society.

This blog was written by Eleanor Jackson. She is a student on Whadjuk Nyoongar land in Boorloo (Perth) WA. Her interests include hiking and bookish days.